TikTok wellness influencers have convinced you that your puffy face is from stress hormones (cortisol face!) and the solution is an $80 supplement, a $45 face roller, lymphatic drainage massage ($120/session), and probably some magnesium spray ($30) while you’re at it.

But here’s the plot twist: the financial stress of buying all this wellness stuff might actually be raising your cortisol more than whatever problem you’re trying to fix.

The wellness-industrial complex wants your money

Every few months, a new wellness trend goes viral, and suddenly you need it or you’re not taking your health seriously.

Recent examples:

  • AG1 greens powder ($99/month)
  • Red light therapy masks ($200-500)
  • Magnesium supplements for literally everything ($25-40)
  • Lymphatic drainage tools ($30-80)
  • ‘Adrenal support’ supplements ($40-70)
  • Mouth tape for better sleep ($15/month, yes really)

The promise: Fix your hormones, reduce inflammation, boost energy, improve sleep, clear skin, cure anxiety.

The reality: Most of this stuff has minimal scientific backing, and the few things that do work have way cheaper alternatives.

‘Cortisol face’ and other made-up problems

Does stress affect your face? Sure. Can you reduce facial puffiness? Probably. Do you need a $150 toolkit to do it? Absolutely not.

Free/cheap alternatives to expensive wellness:

For stress and cortisol:

  • Sleep (free)
  • Walking outside (free)
  • Drinking water (nearly free)
  • Not doom scrolling at midnight (free and actually effective)

For facial puffiness:

  • Ice cubes wrapped in a cloth (50 cents)
  • Getting enough sleep (free)
  • Reducing salt intake (actually saves money)

For energy:

  • Eating regular meals (costs same as not eating regular meals)
  • Moving your body (free)
  • Going to bed earlier (free)

The expensive supplement trap

Wellness influencers insist you need 47 different supplements, each costing $30-80/month.

Monthly supplement stack costs: $200-400

What you actually need: Probably a multivitamin ($10/month) and maybe vitamin D if you’re deficient ($8/month). That’s it.

The inconvenient truth: If you’re not eating vegetables, no amount of greens powder will save you. And greens powder costs $99/month while actual vegetables cost less and work better.

The stress-spending paradox

You’re stressed, so you buy wellness products to fix the stress. Now you’re stressed about money, which increases cortisol, which makes you buy more wellness products. It’s a perfect anxiety loop, and brands are profiting from it.

The irony: Financial stress is one of the biggest cortisol triggers. You’re literally raising your stress hormones trying to lower them.

What actually works (and costs nothing)

Actually evidence-based wellness:

  • 7-9 hours of sleep
  • Regular movement (walking counts)
  • Eating mostly whole foods
  • Drinking water
  • Not being in constant debt stress

Notice what’s not on that list? $99/month powders, $200 face masks, or $80 lymphatic drainage tools.

Some things are legit worth spending on:

  • Therapy (but check if insurance covers it first)
  • A good mattress (you spend a third of your life on it)
  • Quality food (but this doesn’t mean expensive supplements)
  • Gym membership if you’ll actually use it

What’s not worth it:

  • Any supplement promising to ‘fix’ your hormones without addressing sleep, stress, and diet
  • Expensive tools that do what your hands or cheap alternatives can do
  • Monthly subscriptions for things you could get cheaper elsewhere

The bottom line

Wellness culture has convinced you that self-care requires spending money, and that’s convenient for companies selling products but terrible for your financial health.

Real wellness looks like:

  • Getting enough sleep (costs nothing)
  • Managing stress (therapy might cost something, but doom buying supplements doesn’t help)
  • Moving your body (walking is free)
  • Eating reasonably well (vegetables are cheaper than greens powder)
  • Not being in constant financial stress from buying wellness products

Your puffy face probably isn’t from cortisol—it’s from staying up too late scrolling TikTok while eating takeout and not drinking water. Fix those first before dropping $400 on supplements.

The best thing you can do for your cortisol levels? Stop spending money you don’t have on wellness trends that don’t work. That’s actual stress reduction.