Brunch has become a competitive sport where everyone loses except restaurant owners. Somehow breakfast foods between 10am and 3pm on weekends cost triple their weekday price. You’re paying dinner prices for eggs because you’re eating them with friends while drinking.

The mimosa markup is criminal. $12 for $2 of prosecco and 50 cents of orange juice. Bottomless for $35 means three drinks before they start ignoring your table. You’re paying champagne prices for sparkling wine with juice. The ‘bottomless’ is theoretical.

Waiting two hours for eggs is capitalism winning. The artificial scarcity of weekend breakfast created lines for food that takes five minutes to make. You’re so desperate for the brunch experience that you’ll wait longer than the food takes to digest.

The avocado toast incident changed everything. When that millionaire blamed millennials’ poverty on $19 avocado toast, restaurants realized they could charge $19 for $2 of ingredients. You’re paying for the meme, not the meal.

Instagram optimization inflated prices. Restaurants design food for photos, not flavor. That $24 pancake stack with edible flowers and gold leaf? It tastes like regular pancakes. You’re paying for content, consuming aesthetics.

The basic breakfast upcharge is insulting. Eggs, toast, potatoes: $18. The same meal at a diner: $6. The only difference is the restaurant has exposed brick and Edison bulbs. Ambiance apparently costs $12.

Weekend tax is real and ridiculous. Tuesday lunch: $12. Sunday brunch for the same food: $22. You’re paying a convenience fee for eating on your day off. The food doesn’t know what day it is.

The ‘brunch cocktail’ category is a scam. Bloody Marys, bellinis, aperol spritzes – all $14-16 for drinks that cost $3 to make. The garnish game got out of control. That bloody mary with a whole chicken on top isn’t a drink; it’s dinner.

Splitting bills at brunch causes financial feuds. Someone got bottomless mimosas, someone just got coffee, everyone splits evenly, resentment builds. You’re subsidizing your friends’ day drinking. The friendship tax is real.

The hangover markup is predatory. They know you’re vulnerable, dehydrated, desperate. That $8 orange juice feels necessary (and healthy). The $6 coffee is medicinal. You’re paying emergency prices for basic beverages.

Reservation culture made brunch exclusive. Resy, OpenTable, waitlists for eggs. You’re competing for the privilege of overpaying. The FOMO around brunch reservations created false scarcity.

The time limit pressure is manufactured stress. Two-hour maximum seatings mean rushed relaxation. You’re paying premium to be kicked out efficiently. The leisurely breakfast became speed eating with prosecco.

Birthday brunch became mandatory expensive celebration. You can’t just get coffee anymore. It’s elaborate, expensive, extensive. The birthday person doesn’t pay, everyone else subsidizes. You’re attending multiple birthday brunches monthly, hemorrhaging money for eggs.

Work brunch is a meeting that costs triple. ‘Let’s discuss over brunch’ means the company pays $40 per person for a conversation that could’ve been an email. You’re performing work on weekends for french toast.

Here’s the solution: make breakfast at home, invite friends over. Eggs cost $3 per dozen. Prosecco is $10 per bottle. Coffee is basically free at home. You can have the social experience without the financial punishment.

Brunch culture convinced you that friendship requires restaurant receipts. That weekend socializing needs commercial venues. That relaxation requires payment. It doesn’t. The best brunches happen in someone’s kitchen, with grocery store ingredients, where nobody’s watching the clock and the mimosas are actually bottomless because you control the bottle.