Every December, Spotify Wrapped drops and suddenly everyone’s sharing their music stats like it’s a personality test. “I listened to 47,000 minutes of music this year!” Cool. Now imagine if your bank did the same thing with your spending.

“Congratulations! You spent $4,237 on DoorDash this year and ordered from the same Thai restaurant 89 times. You’re in the top 1% of people who can’t be bothered to cook!”

Suddenly you don’t want to share anymore, do you? Let’s talk about what Spotify Wrapped for your finances would actually look like—and why it would be equal parts hilarious and horrifying.

Your top spending categories (with judgment)

Spotify tells you your top artists and genres. Bank Wrapped would reveal your top spending categories with way too much detail.

“Your #1 spending category: Restaurants & Takeout”

  • Total spent: $6,847
  • That’s 18.7% of your annual income
  • You ate out 387 times this year
  • Most ordered: Chipotle (43 times)
  • Peak ordering time: 9:47 PM on Sundays
  • “Maybe learn to cook? Just a thought.”

“Your #2 category: Subscriptions You Forgot About”

  • Total spent: $1,243
  • Active subscriptions: 17
  • Subscriptions you actually use: 4
  • That gym membership you’ve had since 2019 but haven’t visited since 2020: Still charging you
  • “You could’ve taken a vacation with this money.”

Your guilty pleasure spending (the embarrassing deep cuts)

Spotify reveals you listened to that one embarrassing song 94 times. Bank Wrapped would expose your actual guilty pleasures.

“Your most frequent small purchases”

  • Coffee: 312 times ($1,638 total)
  • That’s 6 coffee purchases per week
  • Average price: $5.25
  • “You essentially bought a coffee subscription but without any of the perks.”

“Late-night purchases you regret”

  • 11 PM – 2 AM spending: $2,847
  • Items you returned: 34% of them
  • Things you forgot you ordered until they arrived: Too many to count
  • “Go to bed earlier. Your bank account will thank you.”

“Impulse purchases soundtrack”

  • Times you added something to cart and bought it immediately: 167
  • Times you used the 24-hour rule: 3
  • Money saved when you did wait: $847
  • “Imagine if you had that kind of self-control all year.”

Your spending personality profile

Spotify gives you a listener personality (like “The Early Adopter” or “The Replayer”). Bank Wrapped would categorize your financial personality.

Potential profiles:

“The Optimistic Overspender” You start every month thinking “this time will be different” and end it wondering where your money went. You believe in your future ability to show restraint while your present self has zero.

“The Subscription Hoarder” You collect subscriptions like Pokémon. Gotta catch ’em all, even if you only use three of them.

“The Takeout Enthusiast” Your kitchen is decorative. Your most-used app is DoorDash. You’re personally keeping your local restaurants in business.

“The Treat Yourself Devotee” Every day is a “treat yourself” day. You’ve turned retail therapy into a lifestyle. Your credit card is tired.

“The Sale Shopper” You don’t buy things at full price—you only buy them when they’re on sale, which means you buy way more things. You’re saving money AND spending more. Congrats?

Your financial lowlights (the songs you wish weren’t on there)

“Your most regrettable purchase” That $347 thing you bought and used exactly once

  • Days until you regretted it: 2
  • Times you’ve thought about selling it: 47
  • Times you’ve actually listed it for sale: 0

“Your most expensive mistake” The subscription that auto-renewed annually without warning

  • Amount charged: $299
  • Times you used it in the past year: 0
  • Level of rage when you noticed: Extreme

“Your overdraft anthem”

  • Times you overdrafted: 4
  • Total in overdraft fees: $140
  • What you were buying when it happened: Something under $10
  • “Ouch.”

Your spending wrapped: Year in review

Total spent: $48,392 Total earned: $52,000 Total saved: $847 Percentage saved: 1.6% Financial advisors in shambles: All of them

Peak spending month: December (obviously) Most frugal month: January (post-holiday guilt) Month you gave up on your budget: February

Times you checked your bank account and immediately regretted it: 127

What this would actually reveal

As mortifying as Spending Wrapped would be, it would show you patterns you don’t see otherwise:

The truth about “small” purchases: That $5 coffee feels insignificant until you see you spent $1,600 on it annually.

Subscription creep is real: You think you have 5 subscriptions. You actually have 17.

Emotional spending patterns: Peak spending times reveal when you’re stressed, bored, or avoiding feelings with retail therapy.

Where your money actually goes: Not where you think it does. The big categories aren’t always the problem—it’s the death by a thousand tiny purchases.

The bottom line

Spotify Wrapped is fun because music preferences are personal but not financially consequential. Spending Wrapped would be devastating because it would force you to confront the reality of where your money goes.

But honestly? You should do this yourself. Pull up your bank statements, categorize your spending for the year, and face the music (pun intended). It’ll be uncomfortable, maybe embarrassing, but it’s also the wake-up call most people need.

Your Spotify Wrapped shows what you love listening to. Your Spending Wrapped shows what you actually prioritize with your money—and sometimes those two things tell very different stories about who you think you are versus who your bank account says you are.

Maybe 2026 is the year your Spending Wrapped is something you’d actually want to share. Or at least something you don’t have to hide in shame.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go cancel about 11 subscriptions.